A Journal by Thomas Ordainas
by Talhiri
Summary: A journal hidden from the past has surfaced and carries memories, recordings of people who knew Revan before the Mandalorian Wars... even before Revan came to live at the Jedi Enclave on Dantoonie...
1. A Journal by Thomas Ordainas Book 1

**-- A Journal by Thomas Ordainas - Book 1--**

* * *

Thomas Ordainas sat in his study typing out the first part of his journal as time past by him unnoticed. Thomas stood and went to the window, looking out through the transparent glass, rubbing his forehead as he thought. He was focused solely on his journal and nothing else mattered, nothing else would enter between him and his… 

"Grandpa!" A small girl ran into the room and flung her arms around his leg as high as she could and he looked gruffly at his granddaughter.

"What is it, Julia?"

Julia looked up at him with her big brown eyes and stared imploringly, "you said next time I came over, that you'd tell me a stor-free!"

"Its story, not stor-free," Thomas corrected, sighing inwardly as he walked back to the computer, with Julia riding on his leg. He glanced down at her, "can I have my leg back?"

"Nope." Julia giggled, "I want my story, Grandpa." Her eyes crossed and she suddenly took on a pouting look, "I want it tonight or you won't get your leg back!" The little girl scowled fiercely into her Grandpa's face who was scowling with equal intensity.

* * *

Her mother and Grandma watched as Thomas lifted Julia up onto the desk and let her open up a datapad that he handed her, and returned to his work from the file he had been studying for hours. 

"They're just so like each other, Mother. And Julia's happier, more so than I've seen in the longest time." Kate smiled in relief as she and her mother returned to the kitchen table.

Jane smiled, "if you think Julia is happy; then look at your father. He's always so gruff these days, I thinking not having his little girl around anymore is upsetting for him."

* * *

"Grandpa, what's this?" Julia pushed the datapad right under his nose and he was forced to look away from his array of pictures on the computer and at the datapad that held descriptions of Revan's earlier days. 

"It's a journal, Julia…" He told her after a glance at the markings on the pad.

"…About what?" Julia complained, "I can't understand the language." She pouted until her grandpa took the pad away from her and studied it carefully.

He started as he realized that this had not been the pad he had handed to Julia and looked to his right. There was the pad he had intended for Julia to read but how had this one gotten into her possession?

"It's an old journal that I wrote when I was younger." He said and tried to put it away but Julia grabbed it before he could. "Well I want to read it," she paused and pushed out her lower lip and looked at him, "please?"

Thomas looked at Julia and sighed as she continued to stare at him. He groaned and relented after five minutes, memories rushing back to him.

"All right, but a few for tonight, Julia; you do have to go to bed, remember?"

"Yup, I 'member." Julia smiled eagerly and crawled into his lap as he opened up the data file and began to read the first few entries.

_

* * *

_

_1st entry, No date,  
Deralia, Thomas Ordainas _

_Today my younger sister was born and my hardly known grandmother came down from the caves up high in the mountain to look up my baby sister Revan. She always comes down when a child of great strength or of the Force is born and makes her 'prophecies' or rather visions of the Force. _

_She is hardly a loving grandmother and I have collected more scars and knowledge than kisses from her. I don't think, she even as a heart sometimes the way she never ever smiles. I think if she ever did the end of life must be near, But enough, I was lucky enough to have recorded the prophecy that Grandmother made._

**_-- Revan is born --_**

**_The child was born,_**

**_The spark of life flared bright in the Force._**

**_And the old Jedi looked sadly upon the child._**

**_She is destined for great power and life,_**

**_But ware' she will fall many times and rise only once..._**

**_And the fear that followed the prophecy, was soon forgotten_**

**_As they rejoiced in the child's birth._**

**_And all but one forgot..._**

_

* * *

_

Thomas frowned as the journal fizzed out on the datapad and he growled in annoyance and smacked it on the side of his desk. Several minutes later, the pad started to work slowly.

"Grandpa, what's wrong with the journal?" Julia peered intently at the datapad as he opened the back panel and twisted a few wirings.

"This datapad is very old, Julia." Thomas grunted as he concentrated on reconnecting a red wire, "I'm surprised that it's still working at all."

* * *

**WARNING!**

**Data corruption!**

**Attempting too retrieve lost data.**

_20th entry  
No date, seven years after previous journal entry  
Deralia, Thomas Ordainas_

_I was doing nothing today so I decided to write some more up on what's been happing over the years. Today I was bored and I started writing some poetry, Revan was wandering when she found me so I decided to write about one of her experiences she told me about. _

_And to tell the truth, it scared me._

**_-- The Lady's Discovery --_**

_And she was different…_

_And as she grew, she changed…_

_And she commanded a great power..._

_And then, she found the Force…_

**

* * *

**

_35th entry  
No date, seven years after previous journal entry  
Deralia, Malak Teranis_

_I'm Malak. I found this journal today after an old woman pulled me out of the ship my parents where using when we crashed during the Mandalorian attack. She said that I should record what she as going to say on this journal and keep it safe until I found someone important to give it to. We were supposed to be visiting some of friends of Mom's. _

_Someone called Fari and Terr... They had a little girl my age, her name's Revan and she has an older brother to, Thomas Orodainas... Well we where supposed to anyways. everyone in Revan's family is dead except for her grandmother and herself. Revan and I are being shipped off to the Dantooine, wherever that is._

_This is what that old lady said and she's creepy;_

**_-- The Lady's Narrative --_**

_…The wind howled and the storms blew,_

_As the child left for her training,_

_As her mother stood strong until the very end_

_Before the tears gave way…_

_And then the Mother and Father were gone;_

_And their enemy stood mourning his brother,_

_Lying besides their corpses…_

_And the brother's killer stood looking_

_Down on the ruins of her home and she swore:_

_I will avenge you, my Father and Mother._

_And the girl disappeared into the night._

**

* * *

**

"All right, you little rip. That's enough for tonight, off to bed with you." Thomas carried his sleepy granddaughter to her bed and tucked her in as she looked at her grandpa with sleepy eyes.

"Grandpa, how'd you make the journal, if you died back then?"

"I didn't make the journal; I'm just named after the same guy who started the Journal, Julia."

"Oh," Julia seemed to consider this and then she yawned and snuggled down under the covers, "okay, then. Will we read more tomorrow, Grandpa?"

"If you want to, then yes... we will." Thomas smoothed his granddaughter's hair back from her face and left the room quietly stopping once to look back at the bed before he left the room.

* * *

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	2. A Journal by Thomas Ordainas Book 2

-- A Journal by Thomas Ordainas- Book 2 --

* * *

The next morning at six, little feet pattered into the study room as a tousled head peeked around the door, one small arm holding her teddy bear.

"Come in Julia and grab a blanket. The heat isn't on yet for another two hours." Thomas didn't look up from the datapad as he translated more of the data into his computer. Julia scrambled over to her grandpa's chair and climbed into his lap, with a blanket and her teddy bear, all smiles.

He glanced up briefly from his work; "does your mother know you're here?"

Julia smiled brightly and looked to the left and then the right before leaning in close to whisper in his ear. "Nopes. I snuck out and came here."

He shook his head, "and your grandma? I'm guessing she doesn't know either?"

Julia nodded happily, "I crawled past the kitchen and the pots." She frowned, "Teddy wasn't quiet though. He made a lotsa nose when we crawled past the pots."

"You mean lots of noise, Julia." Thomas corrected absently and smiled as he tapped the power switch; "all right, I've managed to open several more entries up, Julia."

_**

* * *

105th entry  
No date  
Dantooine, Master Kreia**_

_I find it strange that this journal passed into my hands after Padawan Malak Teranis gave it to me. He told me of its history and the past surrounding the journal and I found myself intrigued. Sadly though most of the data is corrupted, including information about Revan's home planet. No one who knows will tell, to protect Revan, which although annoying is noble in its effort._

_Today I observed the future, or a possible future, through the Force and found myself writing poetry to hide its meaning and foretell of Revan's feature. Thus I write, or rather record what I saw and heard._

_**-- The Lady's Training --**_

_And she grew into a young woman,_

_Full of life and happiness; laughter and mischief_

_Cocky, arrogant, proud, and a tender heart…_

_She was a pupil with very little to fail her._

_Charisma, persuasive, and powerful,_

_She led many in her path…_

_And then she began to question her Masters…_

_And started down the path, of the dark side…_

_**

* * *

305th entry  
No date  
Dantooine, Master Dorak**_

_Sadly, I record this journal in hopes of unburdening this soul of mines. Recently an apprentice of mine, of many Masters to tell the truth... Revan Ordainas has started to take a turn in her studies. She delves into the histories and knowledge of our Order as far back as she can without heed to what she researches. I fear she is falling to the dark side as she continues to study the Ancient Ruins here on Dantooine. They were sealed for a reason, I fear what she may find and I am powerless to stop her._

_Oh force forbids she finds the power and knowledge to open those Ruins._

**_

* * *

325th entry  
No date  
Dantooine, Shan Lee, The Exile_**

_Today I record in the datapad journal my friend Revan left me. She came to my room in the dead of the night and told me she was leaving on a trip with Malak and that she couldn't take anyone else, even me. I was hurt at first, until she explained why and her reasons were justified in the end, though not being able to go was hard at first._

_I recorded this from Master Vandar. I'm sure he knew I recorded this, but he was in a trance and I happened on him by chance or as we Jedi would say, the Force led me to his room that night. At any rate I do not believe Revan has fallen._

_**-- The Lady's Ignorance --**_

_And then she stepped into the Abyss;_

_And ignored the callings of her elders..._

_And she grew in her power_

_And became stronger than ever before..._

_And then she returned..._

**_

* * *

400th entry  
No date,  
H.M.S. The Lady, Revan Ordainas_**

_It's my birthday today and Shan Lee, gave me back my datapad journal that I gave to him before Malak and I left on our journey to find the Star Maps. I was surprise to find that it still works, even if there are a few data corruptions here and there. I haven't seen it since my brother died, actually before that. Amazing isn't it, how the past returns to you?_

_Well, I was being lectured by the Jedi Council again today about my new powers and theories. So I wrote my refusal to their demands in a form of poetry, just to infuriate them for the fun of it. I mean poetry's harmless, right?_

_**-- The Lady's Refusal --**_

_The Lady looked into the life surrounding her._

_She looked up to the light spoke calmly;_

_I have fallen, but I will return_

_And you will hear of me again…_

_**

* * *

555th entry  
The Fall of Revan  
Revan's ship, Bastila Shan**_

_She finally fell today and when I saw her fall and healed her, I saw into her mind. I saw the pain that she suffered and realized the truth to the rumours of Malak and her romance was true and that he had betrayed her and the hurt in her voice as she spoke to him._

_**-- The Lady's Betrayal --**_

_And she fell…_

_She looked away from the light…_

_And into their bond, across the space, distancing them…_

_And she asked him…_

_Why?_

_**

* * *

557th entry  
The Fall of Revan  
Revan's ship, Bastila Shan**_

_never have I felt so much anger in one voice or mind for that matter. I guess love and hatred do reflect each other and emotions are stronger after one who you love betrays you. I do not know this feeling or passion, I have never loved anyone expect my father._

_**-- The Lady's Anger --**_

_And he did not answer..._

_He needed no words to show his feelings._

_And as her life faded away, she realized his feelings._

_She forced herself too live._

_And that anger was enough too spark her life force,_

_And allowed her to remain alive when she should died._

_**

* * *

558th entry  
The Mindewipe of Revan  
Dantooine, Master Ju Pal**_

_We have just finished the mindwipe of Revan and yet I find myself disagreeing with her treatment. It is appalling to say the least, that we wiped her mind and gave her a new set of memories, erasing all that she knew beforehand._

_Bastila Shan gave me this before she was sedated again by the medics and told me that it belonged to Revan. I have found many entries, though most are corrupted and ruined... It is truly a wonder to behold this treasure. I shall keep it hidden away until I can return to her one day when the Force deems it right._

_**-- The Lady's Hurt --**_

_And as the Masters closed the door, she looked at them._

_The first, strong and dark…_

_The second, sly and light..._

_And both faces turned to the masters as they closed the door._

_And both asked the Masters…_

_Why?_

_What have I done?_

**_

* * *

559th entry  
Abandoned Apartment  
Taris, Padawan Bastila Shan_**

_Before I left on the mission to find any clues on how we might stop Darth Malak, Master Ju Pal gave me this datapad journal. I nearly fainted when I realized that this was Revan's datapad from the past. He told me that should I feel anything that need be recorded not to hesitate and when it was right to give it back to Revan._

_And thus last night I dreamed of Revan, though it was her dream from some unconscious level, I hope... I must believe that. For if Darth Revan was to return then I do not know what we could or would do._

_**-- The Lady's Revenge--**_

_And all the tears in the world could not deafen the pain._

_All the minds heard her voice as she screamed out_

_And quietly, slowly faded from sight and hearing;_

_And her last thought was of vengeance and death,_

_As the sparks flew and cracked_

_For he had betrayed her and he would regret it, forever..._

_**

* * *

609th entry  
The Ceremony  
Ebon Hawk, Bastila Shan**_

_And now the Star Forge is destroyed and the crew is reunited again. I still feel that I do not deserve anything now, after I butchered and killed all those people both Sith and Republic. I may have been redeemed but my heart tells me otherwise. Revan speaks the truth when she tells me that I will have to face my fears or let them overwhelm me._

_And now as the Force speaks through me I record the final poem of Revan._

_**-- The Final Saying --**_

_And thus was the tale of Revan,_

_The Lady of Darkness and Light..._

_The destroyer of the galaxy..._

_The wanted villain..._

_The beloved heroine..._

_The saviour of the galaxy..._

_For this is the tale of Revan, the Prodigal Knight... _

_**

* * *

Unknown entry  
Unknown date  
Unknown Author**_

_**-- The Lady's Answer --**_

_Look into the dark, seek what thou needs and find the answer and bring it forth unto the light…_

_**

* * *

Unknown entry  
Unknown date  
Unknown Author**_

_**-- The Lady's Quote --**_

_Is it wrong to choose love and happiness over power? Is not love and happiness a power itself?_

_**

* * *

Unknown entry  
Unknown date  
Unknown Author**_

_**-- The Lady's Signature --**_

_The Lady of Darkness and Light _

* * *

"Wow! Revan sounds like a nice person, Grandpa!" Julia was awed, her small bright little face all smiles now as she grinned at her Grandpa. "I'm going to be just like her and learn to use my Force powers for good! Bye, bye!"

Julia gave him a kiss on the cheek and ran off with her teddy bear, as she eagerly went to look for a lightsaber that she might use to battle the 'Sith' and other various foes she might encounter.

Thomas smiled in spite of himself and stood up looking at the holograph he had pulled out. He shook his head, and closed the computer down.

Revan was long gone.

Time to face the future.

A soft laugh and the caress of the wind made him turn around and he squinted into the sunlight as a voice spoke to him.

"_Nothing is ever gone, Thomas Ordainas... It always remains behind, somehow..."_

* * *

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